I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
