Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
