Sry I called you an 8
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
