community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
