could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
