if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
