I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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