I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
