You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wish life had little blips of pornography
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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