That's intense
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
