Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
