Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
