I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
