To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
