So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she pinky promised me she was 18
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
