Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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