what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
