all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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