Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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