guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
