Your dad touched me again.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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