Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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