I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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