You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
