so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i think my cat just said my name.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
