he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
