i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
