I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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