all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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