never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize