Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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