Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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