would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
