so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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