weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
