I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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