In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
