Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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