Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
