her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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