Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My vagina is very pro this idea
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