Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
