I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
