3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
