They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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