i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
