Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
