his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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