I skipped work to stalk him.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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