That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
