I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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